I’m one of those people who likes to make time to sit in solitude on the back deck, drinking Gin in my pink budgie smugglers and reflect on life’s events and conversations, and my poor fashion choices. But you can’t spend all your time looking in the rear-view mirror, as humans we need to look forward – and we need things to look forward to. And the stuff we look forward to depends on the stage of life we’re at. I don’t know any teenagers who are looking forward to buying a rain gauge, playing lawn bowls and eating at buffets. Similarly, I don’t know any senior citizens who are looking forward to their mate’s parents going away for the weekend so they can punch cones, pull an all nighter and draw penises on their passed-out mates faces with a Sharpie. Not saying that doesn’t happen – I just don’t know of any.
One thing I’m looking forward to is that time in my life when my kids finally move out into their own pad. Not because I don’t like having them around, I love them to bits, but I can’t wait to stay at their joint – as a social experiment – and act like they do now. This is still a fair way off, but I’ve already started compiling an ‘I Can’t Wait’ list, which is basically just writing down the frustrating things they do – as they do them – so I can return the favor in their future house.
I can’t wait to fill my pockets full of tissues and run it through their wash loads. I can’t wait to leave everything I own in the back of their car. I can’t wait to dig holes in their soap with a lock picking tool and leave it all over their shower recess. I can’t wait to leave their tools all over their back lawn for their lawn mower. I can’t wait to play with their mud-soaked dog all over their freshly steam cleaned couch. I also can’t wait to see what else they add to my ‘Can’t Wait’ list, which is growing rapidly.
Immature? Sure. Petty? Probably. But you gotta have goals, here’s to looking forward and living our future fantasies.
